A Love Letter To Cracker Barrel

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Mike Mozart

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Miranda Cain, Editor

Dear Cracker Barrel:

Cracker Barrel you have finally made your journey west to the city of Las Vegas and I personally cannot be happier.

Let us begin with the building itself, at least for the north Las Vegas location, it is in a rather industrial area. This homey-looking building already gives you the feeling that this establishment shall provide you with a meal reminiscent of a home cooked southern meal and unless you are forced to sit outside in the cold for two hours, then the effect is slightly ruined.   

Once you can finally shove your way into the much too small building, they try to sell you things. They sell all kind of things: old fashioned toys and candy, clothes, cosmetics, house wear. While you are waiting your ridiculously long wait―with no indoor waiting area by the way―you can buy things that you conventionally would not buy. However, the unique mix of hunger, exhaustion, and frostbite all mix and suddenly you need to buy every kitschy thing available inside of this tiny, tiny building.

After they finally clear off a table they take you to your table and if your family is larger than the aforementioned four people, then they shove you in a corner. Sitting at your table you wait, look at the menu, wait, awkwardly look at the decor, wait, play with the little game on the table, and wait some more. Finally your waiter or waitress remembers your existence, rushes over, makes an excuse and take your order. At this point they will forget to put in your food order and you will wait some more.

After waiting for what seems like hours it finally approaches……… your meal. Oh the food, there are no words to describe how delicious this meal was. This food tasted so phenomenally good. You get a heaping helping of whatever you ordered and for some orders you get up to three sides with your meal. These three sides contain almost as much food as the actual meal itself. On top of this you get the option between a biscuit or cornbread. Now I cannot speak for the cornbread but the biscuits are pre-buttered and taste like little pieces of heaven. Oh, the meal redeemed most of the rest of the horrors from this evening.

So Cracker Barrel, this was more of a love letter to your food more than any other part of you.

Sincerely,

I love your food (and not much else)
P.S. Except for the server from this weekend you were the best server I have ever had at this establishment!!