Why Short People are Amazing


Angel Mesiti

Short people are better.

Angel, I don’t know if it’s clear yet, but short people are living a dream. It’s an absolute paradise to be below 5 feet tall.

Short people have a multitude of advantages that aren’t experienced by their taller counterparts. You know those hugs where person A engulfs person B, and person B gets cuddle into person A? That is quite literally the only type of hug that short people receive. To a short person, everyone gives good hugs, so why not ask for hugs all of the time. An embrace is a guarantee in comfort, even the ones in which the other person is being really awkward.

As well as receiving absolutely bomb hugs from everyone, short people never have to worry about getting a weird piggyback ride.

When they hop on to someone else’s back, it’s an actual ride because their feet are nowhere near the floor, and they aren’t ridiculously hunched so as to keep their knees up around the carrier’s hips bone. They can, then, comfortably lean on to their carrier’s back and enjoy the ride they’re given. Piggyback rides are actually alright to take part in when you’re short.

This will seem like absolute bull, but the neck and calf strength of short people is unbelievable. They get to look up at everything, which sounds like a pain, but they are building up the muscle in their neck. Because they are always angling their head up, short people almost never have to crack their neck. The vertebrae at the top of their spine are optimally stretched on a daily basis.

Don’t even get me started on the calf strength of short people. They have to go on their tiptoes to reach stuff on high shelves and wow that builds up the muscle. At least once a day, short people will, essentially, hold a calf raise to reach something they need to grab. Short people flex on everyone with rather mundane tasks, but other’s just haven’t realized it.

Short people may complain about not being tall enough to ride roller coasters, but it ensures that no one can force them on to a roller coaster. Those that are average height get dragged onto some of the scariest rides by their adrenaline junkie counterparts while those that are too short can watch in glee as everyone chickens out.

If someone even got close to getting a short person onto a ride they don’t want to go on, they could merely “double check” with a ride attendant to get themselves out of the line. For those that are short that do want to ride a certain roller coaster, they can usually sneak through by hiding behind their taller friends. They can have the best of both worlds in terms of roller coasters.

Along with avoiding whiplash from insane coasters, short people can avoid getting cricks in their neck from leaning on someone else’s shoulders or arm. They are always at the perfect height to fall asleep merely given someone else’s side. With a slump, a short person steers clear of having a stiff neck all while getting the perfect opportunity to sleep. They don’t have to put their neck at a right angle just to get a small nap in or shift uncomfortably to keep their neck straight.

Above all, one should not mess with a person. They are at the height necessary to kick someone in the shins or where the sun doesn’t shine. Both areas are sensitive, and short people get the perk of being at the perfect level to attack them.

If necessary, they could strike the jugular, the least opportune area on a body to have hit. Those under the average height are a walking danger to their taller counterparts.

At 5’7”, I experience every perk of being short and, trust me, it’s an amazing trait to have.