My Senior Struggle to Balance My Life

I was supposed to have a feature to turn into today, but I’ve fallen behind today for one reason, I can’t say no! I have a job that lets me work only the weekends and that is great for my time and energy, but the problem stemmed from wanting more hours. I had scheduled a set time for myself this past Saturday to completely finish my homework because I wasn’t set to work. However, when I was working on Friday, one of my personal most respectful and “friend-like” managers offered me an extra 8-HOUR shift on Saturday.

I was so conflicted in my head when she asked me because I KNEW I needed most of Saturday to play catch-up on work, but something in my head also told me that I needed the money for college; any extra hours was so desirable in my head. I also always felt bad when my work really needed extra hands and I turned them down because I love my job. I love my co-workers (at least most of them), I love the managers, and I don’t mind the work.

I eventually took up the offer after all my internal dialogue, which would lead me to a huge rush of pressure. I had little time to actually work on my assignments over the weekend and additionally, I was physically tired working long hours. This led to me not showing up to school this past Monday because I was just so mentally and physically exhausted. Work is great to get money and build skill for the future, but it is so important to balance your workload so you end up not crashing.

Work is definitely not the only thing that is sitting on my plate as a senior. This might not apply to everyone, but senior year has been my most drama-filled high-school year. I lost a lot of close friends this year, which in turn has lead to one of the, if not THE, lowest times in my life. Not only is school and work occupying my mind, this residual loneliness has been plaguing me in 2019. Let me tell you that it’s hard going from having so many people that you trust to suddenly having very few friends that you’ll know that will have your back no matter what.

The workload that builds up in senior year can definitely be overwhelming. People say, “keeping a balance of what you need to do is important,” which is true, but it gets harder and harder to do that over time. As a senior that works, goes to school, and has massive mood swings, it gets so mentally and physically exhausting to keep up with work. After a while of not getting enough sleep, your body is either really unresponsive or just shuts down entirely. Motivation is really hard to pick up when you already feel hopeless and feel like you cannot catch up. The thought of judgment from the people around me and teachers scare me from picking up where I left off.

As a senior, I’m just so ready to get out of high-school and for it to be over.