Schaper Announces AP PE


Ryan McGuire

Name the top five classes you hate at A-TECH. Chances are, the majority of people will say “PE II.” Well, what if you’ve been told you could have more PE? More running. More weightlifting. More everything. Just imagine.

“Well isn’t it your lucky day.” A still, cold silhouette remarks, spinning its chair to face you, lightning suddenly striking and tearing a tree from its roots. “I’m sure you’re going to love my idea,” devilishly stated PE II teacher, Paul Schaper. And that’s when the teared tree burst into flames, scorching the following letters onto the ground: “AP PE.”

“Awesome,” said graphic design teacher Kelly Charles.

Schaper recently announced the introduction of AP PE, much to every A-TECH student’s ecstatic joy.

“Please don’t let anyone die,” said Student Body President Tanya Yap.

With many A-TECH classes extending into AP to help prepare students for college and reward credits for their hard work, it was inevitable for Physical Education (PE) to take a shot at offering such classes. After all, having extra physical education credits in college will benefit all of 2 students willing to pursue a career in physical health and wellbeing.

Since Schaper’s announcement, A-TECH students all around cannot stop talking about their excitement for the class.

“No comment,” said junior Rick Huang.

“No,” said senior Andrea Navarro.

Schaper’s philosophy behind AP PE is described as “painful, but just enough to still be legal.” Students may look forward to this, especially those who have taken both PE classes before. Rumored exercises include: lifting hundreds of pounds, running with dumbbells attached, and participating in global championships with minimal training – certainly a thrilling opportunity.

AP PE is actually shorthand for two classes, each with honors equivalents, such as AP PE A AB H, and AP PE A BC H.

From my own personal experience, during my days in PE II, hearing classmates nearby me, panting and sweating like they’ve run across the world and back, saying comments like “I just wanna go home!” and “When will this end?,” has me praising Schaper’s decision for clearly being able to understand A-TECH as a whole.

PE is both a learning experience and a chance for students to have fun; like Sammy Winn, a computer science teacher explained: “School should be painful.” And with AP PE, Schaper has hit the sweet spot of A-TECH.

“Let’s just avoid any lawsuits,” said Principal Jonathan Synold.

(Editor Disclaimer: Don’t actually think too hard about this. It’s about as real as it sounds.)